Northern California Wedding Planner | The Unspoken Rules of Being a Bridesmaid

Beyond the dresses, the bouquets and uncomfortable shoes is the unspoken rules of being a bridesmaid.  If you've been a bridesmaid, maid of honor or even a just a close friend to a couple who are getting married than you can probably relate.

Good vibes only

Photo by Jack Vu Photography

From a wedding planner standpoint we get to meet a lot of wedding parties, with that we see the good bad and the ugly.  From the bridesmaids who step up and help make sure the bride is good spirits the week of the wedding, even after countless hours of coffee dates that turn into counseling sessions or late night panic texts about the decor.  We thank you for all of that support for the couple!

Typically we grab a phone number from the bridal party and the groomsmen so that we can touch base without bugging the bride or groom while they are getting ready.  It is a huge help.

Not all weddings have a full service wedding coordinator who is there to handle all of the tasks involved with a wedding weekend.  Offer your help in a task that you can own, maybe if you have a truck offer to help load the couples personal decor on the morning after their wedding, or if you can make sure the bride has her go-bag with her comfy shoes, lip gloss and other handy items keep that close by for photos if she needs a touch up. Just those small steps are a big help.  

Sometimes there are personalities who can take over a wedding day experience for the bride and groom or even a member of the wedding party who has indulged too much and causes issues or damages that ultimately reflect back on the couple.  Not cool. If someone in the wedding party has had to much to drink, try to deflect the situation to keep it away from the bride and groom if possible.

We don't support the bridezilla notion, however it is common for brides to be under a wee bit of stress with all of the activities and planning leading up to their wedding day.  It can be easy to focus on those moments where maybe your friend is not him or herself.  But ultimately if you can put those moments aside and celebrate the couple we promise you will have so much fun.

Our advice to couples is to choose your crew with your heart, but don't over assign tasks that would set them up to fail.  If you would like ideas on what your wedding party can help with ask your coordinator or even your venue/event team to see if there is anything that would be needed.  Otherwise just make it your mission to enjoy the heck out of your wedding day and dance the night away.

~ Happy Planning~

Planning with Class

At first the Bridezilla movement was a little shocking but pretty entertaining.  These days there is a network of television shows and websites specifically about being a bridezilla.  While stress can make us do wacky things, we should not be encouraging or celebrating this type of tantrum-throwing behavior!  If you feel an outburst coming on, stick to our three step plan of keeping yourself in check! 1. Ask for honesty - After you get over that sparkly new ring let your close friends know that you want them to call you on it if you start getting over the top.  You may need someone to snap you into reality when you get overwhelmed.

2. Use your resources - If your vendors told you that you can contact them if you have any questions, than do so.  Let them know that you need some extra help on the issue at hand so that you can rest assured you have a professional on your side.

3. Focus on your Fiancé - Make sure to pay attention to your soon to be Mr. so that you don't lose sight of what this whole thing is about.  Spend time together and make sure to set limits to wedding conversations so that you both enjoy the process while still enjoying your day-to-day lives.

To the Bride to be, from her Bridesmaids...

Dear Bride to be, We your bridesmaids, have a few things to say.

We are your best friends (except for the 2nd cousin  that your Mom insisted on because you were a mercy bridesmaid in her wedding)

We adore you. We love you. We would do anything for you.EXCEPT wear that dress that you pointed out in the magazine last week.

We are so happy that you are getting married, and we love your Fiance (well all of us except you-know-who, but that's a different story all together), but if we have to hear the proposal story ONE MORE TIME we will gag you with that Tiffany's box you carry around in your purse to prove where that rock you wave around came from.

Helping you plan your wedding is our duty and responsibility and we will all pitch in and do all we can. BUT if you call at 3 am AGAIN to tell us about the epiphany you just had about floral arrangements, we will be forced to confiscate and destroy your iPhone with its "Bride to be" glitter cover.

When the big day comes, we will all stand by your side, hold up your dress when you pee, fetch you champagne in between picture sessions, apply your bandaids to the blisters that your gorgeous but one size too small shoes cause on your heels. We will dance with your new husbands weird cousins and put up with your drunk aunt and her stories about how she always knew you would marry so well.... but so help us if your creepy uncle tries to cop a feel, there will be a dance floor smack down.

Remember that being your bridesmaids is our honor BUT not our reason to live...and we will all get through this in one piece.

Love Always,

Your Bridesmaids